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Mangione4Christ
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Name: Andrew
Birthday: 4/26/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: I love God. I love music. I love Sinfonia. I love people, especially my family and friends. It sucks sometimes, but its the only way to live.
Expertise: Asking questions.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  elessar50
Member Since:
3/14/2005
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My name from the palms of His hands
Eternity will not erase;
Impressed on His heart it remains
In marks of indelible grace.
Yes, I to the end shall endure,
As sure as the earnest is given
More happy, but not more secure,
The glorified spirits in heaven.
There is nothing in heaven or on earth that can compare with the certainty of my relationship to God, and that it is not at all dependent on my performance. Its one of those things that just kinda hits you all at once.
"As sure as the earnest is given..."
Even the spirits in heaven cannot boast of a more certain security than I. It is as though I am already there. This is why no matter what I do, or where I go - how confused, depressed, uncertain, stubborn, selfish, distracted, lazy...
I can always return to him. Because I can never really leave him.
Ever.
that is grace and peace
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| Would you like to know why I like Tolkien's mythology?
"Solidity, indeed becomes the pen
Of him that writes things divine to men;
But must I needs lack solidness, because
By metaphors I speak; were not God's laws,
His gospel laws in olden time held forth
By types, shadows and metaphors? Yet loath
Will any sober man be to find fault
With them, lest he be found for to assault
The highest wisdom. No, he rather stoops,
And seeks to find out what by pins and loops,
by calves and sheep, by heifers and by rams,
By birds and herbs, and by the blood of lambs;
God speak to him, and happy is he
That finds the light and grace that in them be."
-John Bunyan
Sometimes I wonder why God chose to reveal himself to me. Growing up, I was never really fascinated by the Bible. Sure I knew it. I had to. But it never really grabbed me. I went to church, I played the game. I learned everything, I knew all the answers.
If I were God I would have spit that loser out.
But instead he led me to four, taped up, falling apart, paperback books. And he gave me a taste of truth.
I read those four books over ten times by the time I was in middle school. I couldn't get enough of that feeling of something bigger than myself. I felt the eternal within myself.
God didn't have to do that. He could have let me live the rest of my life in lukewarm hypocrisy. Its amazing.
Grace
peace,
Andrew
"Namarie! Nai hiruvalye Valimar.
Nai elye hiruva. Namarie!"
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| Total Depravity.
Yes, I subscribe.
The idea that everyone that has ever lived, excepting the Beloved Incarnate Logos, is basically, fundamentally, and inexcusably wicked.
I believe it, because I have seen it in myself. I have read about it in the Truth. I have seen it in the lives of the people around me, and throughout history.
At our core, we are completely self serving.
I love people. I love talking to people, and more than anything, I love solving their problems. I love giving sacrificially. I love pouring myself into another soul. I love because he first loved me. I have discovered that every good thought, motivation, deed, word, intention, and feeling that I have ever had or done, is a complete gift. I can take no responsibility.
All that said...
Whenever I get close to someone, I always and without exception see two people inside of them. Always. And these two people are always at war. Always. Not two sides, but two people. I see the person that they are, and I see the person they want to be.
The first person is often not to pretty to look at. It is this person that I love. I love them because it gives me joy to love something that is unworthy of love. I love them because I know that I am unworthy of love, and that even so I am loved. I love them because they were created by the most infinite perfect being that I can't even imagine. I love them because loving is the greatest gift that God has given to mankind.
The second person is the one I throw myself into. We may all be depraved, but we all have the stamp of greatness upon our frame. There is inside every person a yawning chasm that must needs be filled and despite the fact that our souls are consumed with self, there is a thirst for infinity that cannot be quenched, except by something infinite.
There is only one infinite thing.
There can be only one infinite thing.
Creator.
Herin lies my problem, tied in with the problem of humanity. This is God's problem, and the problem of all reality. Or is it the solution? As I pour myself into sinners, as I forgive them unconditionally, as I keep myself from judging, as I listen, as if by listening I might coax the hope of the eternal inside them, I risk everything.
God risked everything.
And he was rejected.
No matter how much you love people, they can reject you.
It happens.
But what is love?
I believe that the word love has a synonym.
Sacrifice.
How can you love sacrificially, if you aren't willing to risk everything. And how can you demonstrate that love unless you indeed lose everything.
And still love.
How could God show his perfect love, unless we rejected him? If we stayed in the garden, wouldn't we always wonder? Wouldn't he always wonder? Joy, pain, pleasure, agony, love, sacrifice, life, death...they cannot be separated.
And so I am strong because I am weak. My greatest strength is my greatest weakness is my greatest strength is His greatest weakness. It is because he is weak that I am strong, and it is because I am weak that others can be made strong. And it is because I can make others strong that I am strong, but really, it is really just him being strong through my weakness.
This is his perfect plan.
The more I live this life, the more I can see through people. I see them manipulating me. I see them taking advantage of my kindness. I see them selfishly reaching out to take whatever they can, to build themselves up, to steal what they think they need to survive. But I love them. I know that I am just like them. We are all alike. What they don't know is...
I am strong.
Grace and peace,
Andrew | | |
| Everything is upside down.
I have never in my life been faced with such a situation. Such a brutal, basic, fundamental existence of life question. Its a simple mathematical problem: matter can neither be created no destroyed. If a body exists it must take up space. No matter how much you want to tell somebody that it is their own responsibility to provide for themselves, one undeniable fact remains...
They must exist.
Death is not an option. While Christ's return would technically solve a few problems, that cannot be expected. No, we must look at the cold truths of life and make the best of the worst situations.
Why do I have to care about people? I've never been in a situation in which it absolutely didn't matter whether I cared about someone or not. Caring can't change this situation one bit. Personalities can't change this situation one bit. Time can't change this situation one bit. It has become merely a question of existence, like eating, or breathing.
But it still sucks. When you have to make a decision, and you don't have a choice. All the roads are blocked, all the trump cards are played, eat or be eaten and no one is there to back you up. The game of life is every man for himself...since when did people forget how to be decent human beings.
Desperate people are desperate. I have never been desperate before. I can now say I've come close. I have seen the face of the man on the street, I have pushed his cart for a block or two. I will never take life for granted. Making the right decisions never seemed so terribly serious. Who you are now will effect the rest of your life, or destroy it. People can only help you so much, if they don't try to stab you in the back.
"For all whom the Lord has chosen and received into the society of his saints ought to prepare themselves for a life that is hard, difficult, laborious, and full of countless griefs."
- John Calvin
Thank you God, for reminding me that I am not home yet.
Grace and Peace,
Andrew | | |
| Flew into Miami Beach TAM Airlines
Didn't get to bed last night
On the way customs had to strip search me
Man, I had a dreadful flight
I'm back in the United States
You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the United States, yeah
Been away so long I hardly knew English
Gee, it's good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Can't believe my cell phone works
I'm back in the United States
You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the US
Back in the US
Back in the United States
Well the Guaranas really knock me out
They leave our Coke behind
And Brazil pizza make me sing and shout
That goat cheese always on my my my my my my my my my mind
I'm back in the United States
You don't know how lucky you are, boys
Back in the United States
Well Santarem really knocks me out
Technology is left behind
And cinnamon Pineapple make me sing and shout
They Piranhas always on my my my my my my my my my mind
Oh, show me round your jungle
mountains south of the equator
Take me to your fly infested BBQ
Let me hear your boom box adverts ringing out
Come and wipe the sweat off my face
I'm back in the United States
Hey, You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the United States
More later... : ) | | |
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